I have always had a lot of anger stemming from childhood molestation, rejection and resentment from my father and, later in life, a failed marriage because of a cheating husband. All of those things put a deep-seated anger in me, that only showed up when I was "pushed into a corner." Needless to say, it was hard to be humble, willing and obedient to a Godly calling with all that black mess in my heart.
My current husband, of almost seven years now, and I was spending time with my cousin in November 2013, helping her with her new business venture. One night I dreamed of a word. One word. Muse. That was it.
My husband had, for the year previous, had been patiently dealing with my angry outbursts every time a trigger came up that reminded me of some aspect of my past. But, he was getting to the point where he could not handle my anger anymore, and I was at a place where I didn't like myself for reacting to the those triggers.
The next morning, after having this word spoken in my ear, I was helping my cousin, who makes stained glass, arrange some of her work. She was playing a song on her computer, the same song over and over. The words began to register, and I felt a prick in my heart. I asked her who sang the song. She said, "Muse." I had never heard of them, but I looked up the lyrics and, although it was the voice of the lead singer that I heard, it was Yeshua speaking the words to me in a very personal way. He was speaking to me how He wanted to heal me of the anger, hate, resentment, and all that had built up over the years. It was so personal. I cried tears from years of pent-up frustration and rejection. For the first time in my whole life, I felt like something was beginning to heal inside of me. I was 47 years old.
Today, the 4th of July, 2016, I turned 50 years old. I felt it was time to share this dream with the world, to share this small piece of my story of healing. If there is anyone reading this that has had all kinds of evil done to them, listen to words, and know that Yeshua (Jesus for the Christians) is speaking them to you. He wants to heal you, too.
